Odd One Out – A poem about being Autistic, in her words

I have written about my daughter before (and here). This morning I turned on our home computer to listen to music and found her homework on the screen. What I read made me sob with pride. With her permission, I am sharing it here.

Our journey was filled with doubt and questions and pain and mistakes and worry. Autism is different in every kid, which means that every family has to find their way through the forest alone. Yes, there are experts and resources available, but what works for one child may not work for another. Your journey is unique.

Her high school requires a year long Sophomore Service Learning Project. Through assignments in History and English classes, students study a “world problem” and present their findings at the end of the year. This poem was part of an English assignment.

If you know a child with Autism or Asperger’s Syndrome, I hope this brings you some peace. There is hope for a bright future.

Odd One Out

When I was diagnosed

It made my mother

Cry

And my father was

Pensive

They were very afraid

Of what would become

Of me

I look up and then look

Down because the world is

Overwhelming

My peers always avoid me

They know that I am

Different

Feeling that others can

Cover are not so easy to

Control

The anger, the worry, and the

Sorrow are all so plainly

There

Now I ask you this

Will I always be the

Odd One Out?

No!

The therapy is working

They have put me on a

Diet

I do much better in school

And I can look in your

Eyes

I now have friends

That I see almost

Everyday

I found out my obsession

Can be the key to my

Future

Just like Warhaul, Gates

And Zucherberg too

The geniuses

I go to regular school

And I see a counselor

Whom aids me with

Life skills

Don’t focus on the bad

I can never be

Cured

But I know I will go far

That you can be

Sure

Please do not be afraid

Because I know I will

Prevail

And so will your child

If they have the proper

Care

They will find the things

That ignites the sparks

Within

It’s the key to their

Futures

Believe me when I say

They will not always be

The Odd One Out


Her Autism Story in 10 tweets

Monday was World Autism Day and I tweeted some thoughts about our journey. Our story is different than the typical Autism story – for one, it’s my daughter that was diagnosed. That makes her a minority in the Autism world where boys are diagnosed about five times more often than girls.

Last week, you may have seen the reports that Autism diagnoses are up to 1 in 88 kids – nearly twice as common as previously believed. The evidence points to better diagnostic practices and I, for one, could not be happier about it. Early interventions make a world of difference in Autism therapies, so if we can get every kid on the spectrum the support that they need – then there is hope for a brighter future.

Her story

Every kid with Autism has their own story, their own way of expressing the diagnosis. I have read everything I could lay my hands on, but found that the best resources for us when written about girls on the spectrum. Girls are different than boys and I think that once these differences are better understood we will see the incidence rate rise even more.

 And that will mean that more kids will get the help and support they need.

Some resources I found helpful are listed below. Both are written with the older Aspie in mind, and Aspergirls in particular had great chapters on being happy, as well as a chart showing the differences between boys and girls with Asperger’s.

My Organized Teenager?

This week my 15 year old daughter told me she needed an assistant.

Really? An assistant? I mean, yes she is a busy kid with sports, church, 4H and homework to fit into the few hours of daylight between the last school bell and the 5:45 am alarm. But I can’t see agreeing to a staff position.

She explained that the assistant would keep track of all the things she needed to do and  keep her motivated to complete unfinished tasks. There is so much she wants to do, but just no idea about how to get them done.

I understood that feeling. Too many projects, all of equal priority, and a need to do it all.

Figuring how to fit everything in to your life and still be happy is a trick that all women must learn. A rite of passage we do not celebrate but should. 

And then, my usually disorganized teen surprised me. She had made a list. An actual written list of these projects and things that she wanted to accomplish. 

Was that a tear stinging my eye? 

In that moment, I was a very proud momma. She had been listening. Even with the headphones surgically attached to her ears, something had made it through. She picked up on the teachings of our tribe.

We talked about her list and how to take her “To Do” list to the next level. Think about the step you have to take in order to reach the goal. 

I was thinking about her fourth grade Science Project assignment sheet. Her teacher had broken the Science Fair process into steps, about 30 of them as I recall, and kids tackled the steps one at a time. While 30 steps may seem daunting to a 9 year old, the breakdown was really straightforward and manageable. 

Any project you want to tackle can be broken down the same way. Think about the steps involved, don’t get too far ahead of yourself. No need to panic about how you will present data before deciding on a topic. 

We picked one of her goals – reconnect with old friends – and talked about a few of the steps she needed to take. Decide on a couple of people to find, search for their phone number, ask mom (me) if we have an old email address to use. She has already searched Facebook, of course. 

Summer vacation starts in less than a month and she will have time on her hands to attack the list. She is growing up fast and soon the To Do list will include selecting colleges and picking a major. 

It is nice to know that she is grasping the basics of building a full and happy life. 

This post was originally published on WorkingMother.com on May 5, 2011.